Geoff and Charlotte's Zambian Hospital Adventure: Lions and ...... well, leopards and elephants and things like that

[I have put a few pictures from my little camera below]
This weekend we made our first real venture out to soak up the countryside. Happily Nat and Will were heading to the National Park too so we had a lift. We set off bright and early on Friday. It's only a couple of hundred kilometres but it takes 4 hours - the first hour to Chipata is fine but the next half of the journey (by distance) is somewhat frustrating. It's a temporary road (read dirt track with corrugations), the real road is undergoing something of a makeover - just not how it would in England.

There are sections where nothing has happened. Sections where the old tarmac has been removed and the sand graded. Further sections where the hardcore has been put in piles on top and occasionally packed down. And occasional patches where the new tarmac is in place. This all sounds quite organised because I've put the activities in chronological order. However, they are mixed up randomly as you drive along!! It's all a bit irrelevant anyway because even where the tarmac is in place you can't drive on it...

But we are going on holiday so we don't care! The faithful Smile mix is keeping us entertained. We arrive at the lodge at brunch time. It's like an oasis in a desert - there are shiny tiles and whicker chairs and a deck and a bar! Heaven. I look over to the low wall around the sitting area. All of a sudden two little hands appear and then a little furry face. After a couple of seconds the monkey is sat on the wall looking around for things to pinch. He's quickly shooed away.

We are sat at a table under a tree and shown the menu. But what to choose? Pork schnitzel with mushroom sauce or the feta quiche but then there's the warm pear salad or just the mixed garden salad. Our waiter comes and asks if there's anything we don't want! Perfect! The plates arrive and we tuck in hungrily. Abraham looks a touch worried about our glee at the food. All of a sudden there's a movement in the tree. We look up. The little furry face is watching us at table height. We stare at him. Quickly he decides there's no way he will get anything from us and steals the bread roll of the Dutch lady on the next table. Now, there are some that contest that animals don't feel complex emotions. I can assure you that Vervet monkeys feel smugness, for he chooses to sit in full view making sure everyone knows he has a roll and he's enjoying it!

We are finished and enjoying the sensation in our tummies when Abraham indicates an animal has gone under the table. I can't hear what he says, it sounded like 'elephant shrew' but that's unlikely as they are tremendously shy. All I know is that it went between my legs and is now behind me. I turn and see the tail of a.... snake. About 2-3 feet long (see below). Glad I didn't hear what he said when I was sat down!!

Geoff and I are staying in a different bushcamp from Nat and Will for two nights, so we are ushered to the Land Rover for the transfer. I climb up to the middle row of seats, stash my stuff in the familiar pockets, suncream my face and one arm and sit back. The second the diesel engine starts and I feel the breeze on my face, I relax. It is only now that I realise how tense I had become over the past few weeks. At home I know that I need a break every 8-10 weeks and I know all the tell-tale signs that I'm becoming tired and irritable. Here it was all so new that I didn't notice. Thankfully my stint of long weekends in Namibia has taught me how to relax quickly when sat in a safari vehicle.

At the bush camp we are shown to our stilted room, with two beds and two showers and two sinks, and beautiful view across the river, and everything feels all right again. Time to look for some animals. We are lucky and manage to see a Leopard and a Genet the first night alone. The next afternoon we are taken to the hide (this is not what I thought it would be - more like a luxury seating area and deck) to read and wait for animals at the water hole (which is the soakaway from the camp!). A troop of Baboons arrives. The first animals march straight past us towards the camp - now, we aren't allowed to leave the hide alone so we can't warn them. We watch the babies playing in the water. Then, all of a sudden we hear screeching from the direction of the camp. The baboons have made their way into the kitchen (and judging by the hand prints, our room) and the staff are now busy trying to scare them out again!!! The elephants that come down for a drink and mud bath are much better behaved.

On the Sunday afternoon we transfer the to the camp that Will and Nat are at. We had been in two minds because the camps don't have swimming pools but the lodge does and we could have stayed there instead. But the desire to see Will in action overrides the pool wish. When we arrive I explain this to Olly the camp manager. His response delights me 'Oh, but we have plunge pools and we are just filling yours now! It will only be a few minutes'. The next morning Nat tells me she'd told him to fill the pool and he'd questioned why I'd want it! He also doesn't understand why she's been having boiling showers in the solar heated water with the foot wide shower head when it's over 37 degrees outside... I do and promptly do exactly the same after 2 hours in the plunge pool reading.

I know that some people, who are far better than I am, can happily take the reward for their privations (if they decide to volunteer or similar) in the next life but I'm afraid that I would rather have a break every so often. Some of the volunteer doctors at the hospital were appalled by the fact that we took a weekend away to go and stay somewhere lovely when there were still sick people in the hospital. I can see their point of view but I think the care that is provided by well rested and happy doctors is better than that provided by stressed, poorly fed ones. The camp manager seemed a little bemused to hear that we'd come for 1) the ability to wash properly (my bucket shower is more than adequate but it's not like a power shower!) then 2) the food (silence descended when cheesecake was served one evening - there is no room for talking when you are eating something so lovely). 'What about the animals?' Oh yes, they're number 3!

On the last evening we are lucky enough to watch lions making a kill right by the camp. We sit and watch the 5 cubs fighting over the meat. Will has deployed his beetlecam (camera on a remote control car with some lion proofing) before we get in place but it's already been swatted onto its side. The lions stay by the river in front of camp all night. In the morning we pack the car and go with Will on a game drive. We stop by the lions and deploy beetlecam again. They are intrigued by it and also give us a good lesson in the theory about lions not attacking people in cars. Some people take the view that the cats don't realise you are human if you are on the car because you look different. For some years now I have thought this to be incorrect. Cats have an amazing sense of smell, they can smell you are human. But I know they aren't normally afraid until you get out (my Namibian friend demonstrated this brilliantly with Cheetah once - on the car was fine, the second he stepped down they started to hiss and stamp). However, they know you are there - just Google 'never poke a leopard with a stick' if you don't believe me.

So, when the cub (which is actually nearly 2 years old and therefore a sizeable creature) attacks beetlecam and Will leans out of the window telling it to stop it is little surprise the cat looks up terrified and recoils in fear (Lions are afraid of humans, more afraid than you are of them, I promise!). The camera lives to fight another day!

When we get back we have a dinner of goat cubes (fatty cut), spaghetti and rape, followed by rice pudding. All eaten by torchlight as the power went off for 2 hours at 6.45pm. Pork schnitzel anyone??