Climbing the mountain!!

When we first arrived at St Francis' it was pitch black. For the next couple of days I was convinced that we lived somewhere flat because the hospital has many tall trees and is on flat land, so it's not possible to see anything else. It was only when I went on the first run that I realised that actually the hospital is on a hill (not a particularly large one) and out to the northern side is surrounded by a rolling landscape of fields. In the hazy light (I assume it's dust we can see) towards the horizon there is a ring of large hills / mountains. The ring is broken and to the east of the hospital there is a long 'range' with one very high peak and a long flat ridge ending in 3 mobile phone masts.

It is this range that we planned to climb on Saturday morning. I ring the man that arranges it all and am pleasantly surprised by how good his English is. The previous week he had been very late picking up the group and the day had been boiling hot. This meant that the rather underprepared group (they took 1 litre of water each and no food....) had to climb for 4.5 hours in the heat of the midday sun! Mad dogs and Englishmen indeed. We vow to be better prepared so I impress upon Lightwell that we need him ready to leave at 07 hours, please.

Geoff and I did a brief assessment and decided that we needed 6 litres of water and 2 litres of Coke, plus 2 Mars bars and a piece of fruit each. I head to the Chada to acquire the liquids. I've only seen 500ml bottles of water there but perhaps a different shop will have larger bottles. I ask a chap sat outside his shop. 'No, we only do 500ml.' Why? 'Because no one around here could afford to buy a larger bottle. You are the first person to ask for it.' Oh! I retreat to Theresa's shop, it's called Get Busy (they have great names here, we saw one called 'Speed Kills'). I was told Theresa's name by John the engineer and he recommended her. She's probably in her thirties (it's really hard to age people here) and has two small Afro tufts each side of her chin. She greets me but immediately tells me my top is too short. Coming out of the shop she grabs it and gives a strong tug downwards. I had realised it was a little too short (only just reaching my trousers) and I guess the walk to the Chada has caused a crack to form between the top and the trousers. 'I'm sorry! Am I in trouble?' 'Yes'. I quickly re-tie the trousers in some vain attempt to make amends but secretly I'm pleased that Theresa feels able to chastise me!!

Geoff's phone is out of credit so I need top up as well but they are short, the man hasn't been, they have only 2 pin denominations. This is the equivalent of one minute of call time - it barely seems worth it! But Geoff's on call so we need the credit. Of course the phone rings in the night at around midnight. He heads into the hospital and I fail to get back to sleep. It's too hot, there's a ridiculously loud mosquito, I get a text telling me he'll be a couple of hours so I should lock the door, I do that. Then the phone rings again and he needs letting back in - it's 3.45am. I guess that our 6.15 alarm call is going to be painful.

I was not wrong and we are running slightly late but are saved by Rory who was called in at 6.15am and isn't ready yet. We are also saved by the weather - it's cloudy and windy!! Hallelujah. Just before 8 we jump into the nice car that seats all 6 of us comfortably and off we head. When we get out at the foot of the first incline we have to walk through someone's front yard - there are chickens everywhere. And a block of loos with one for Gients. Then, without warning, Lightwell sets off at a ridiculous pace straight up through the trees. There's no path. If I make a guess at the incline people will probably laugh so all I will say is that Rory is two steps ahead of me and his feet are level with my belly button. After 3 minutes I start to wonder why I came! How long can this go on for??? After a few minutes we break and I start on the water. Then he runs off again, calling over his shoulder 'this group is very strong!'. At the third break - we are already very high! he comments on how quickly we are going compared to last week - about that, can we slow down please?!

The breeze is a saviour and when we get to the first peak we are rewarded with an amazing view of the hill behind. Nat is cold and puts her scarf over her arms!! I agree with Will, she must be a reptile of some sort. We benefit from a long flat and can really enjoy the walk now. Lightwell says there are monkeys (he has one as a pet), Impala and Baboons that live up here. I reckon there should be Leopards too but he says not - I still think they are there - it's classic Leopard territory - hills, rocks to hide behind, small prey, no other predators. I spot some poo that my poo book, yes I have one of those - great birthday present, tells me is probably mongoose or similar.

By 10am we've made it to the top of the highest peak and we stop for our 'lunch'. The others have sandwiches and Nat has even got lunchboxes for her and Will!! That's the height of organisation! We think we are doing really well because we haven't realised how much further there is to go. And first we have to go down! A long way down! and it's as steep as the up! I imagine that we are all worried about breaking an ankle as we hurtle down on the dust and sticks. Fi and I scare a lizard that seems to run off like Usain Bolt on its hind two legs. Now the sun is poking through and it's getting warm. We are glad of all the water we have. I have no idea how the others kept the will to live.

Walking along the ridge to the phone masts we can see for miles on each side, out past the hospital in one direction and over the orange farm in the other. There are a couple of baboons ahead that scatter as they hear us coming - a bit of shame really, I would have liked a closer look. After stopping for photos by the masts we head down to the road awaiting our comfy lift home. But now Lightwell is talking about a minibus...... there is a massive clattering sound coming down the road. Right, this was a minibus about 20 years ago. Now, it's.. not fit for the road! The windscreen looks like crazy paving. There are no panels on the inside of the doors. The door doesn't even shut properly. And I'm sat on something that feels like a metal bar. But it's OK because the road is good quality - nope!! we are practically on the verge trying to avoid the holes - very nearly killing a number of cyclists as we do it.

Strangely, the second we draw level with the drive to the water and sewerage company the road becomes tar! Geoff has been talking to Lightwell. He imports precious stones (Emeralds) from Mozambique but he's 'short of capital'. This is interesting because in the past 3 weeks he has taken 1 million Kwacha off doctors from St Francis'. Compared to the other locals, he has no capital issues at all.

The value of money

I have been trying to work out the value of money to the locals. Something like purchasing power parity but not as scientific. I was thinking more along the lines of a £10 note at home is equivalent to X pin here. It varies a bit by person but for the average Zambian I think 1pin (13 pence) is about £1. So it's really helpful that the ATM only issues 50pin notes. If I want to buy anything from anyone, other than Theresa, I get horrified looks as I get out a note. A bit like one of my colleagues who tried to buy their morning coffee with a £50 note.

On Sunday I went to the Chada. The market was quieter than normal and as I approached I could sense the desperation. I try to visit a different lady each time but was tricked into going to the same one twice last week. I won't make that mistake again. I want 3 tomatoes, that is all. They pile them up in 4s but you can have any number in reality. I pick a stand. The lady starts filling a bag. 'You will take a 4th?' OK, we are quite hungry. '2 pin please?'. Now, this feels steep. I'd get 4 onions for that normally and they are more expensive than tomatoes. And these aren't very big tomatoes. But what is she asking me to overpay by - 8 pence? 10 pence? Will it make any difference to me? No. Will it make a big difference to her? Yes, probably. Do I feel ripped off? No. I leave pleased - they were lovely tasting tomatoes and perhaps she's slightly less worried about feeding her children.

Creatures in the house

Saturday was the day for creatures in the house across the hospital. After dinner we went to a party at the students' house. They had lit the living room with candles in beer bottles (mostly out of necessity as they appear to have only one lightbulb in the room) and decorated it with random bits and bobs. I'm looking at the Impala skull and horns in the corner when I see something moving on the floor. I grab our massive Maglite - that's better. It's a big spider!! Not massive, just big - about 5 inches across. It has substantial but not furry legs and is stealthily making its way around the edge of the room - extending its two long front legs slowly then pulling itself forward.

I mention it to a Zambian nurse called Emmanuel who is at the party. He's a legend in his own lifetime. He tells me this sort is common in the run up to rainy season and they are always in the houses (this reminds me of the big spiders at home that come out at harvest time and scuttle across the living room floor). As quick as a flash he's whipped off his shoe and squashed it. It wasn't poisonous he says. But, the bigger ones are! 'Bigger ones? Oh, you mean the hairy ones with brown and white stripes?' [We had one in the mess a few days ago, it was spotted lowering itself head down from the doorframe with its legs spread to about 7 inches across. The second it hit the floor it set off at pace towards me - I despatched a pest control professional] Yes, those ones are rare but poisonous! And they move more subtly (?). If you get bitten go to hospital. Right!! How rare can they be? One in the mess this week and 2 weeks before in the students' house! Eeek!

When we get back to the house there's a kerfuffle behind me. 'There's a bat or a bird or a bat or something in here!!!'. It was a little bird that had come in through the open windows [they have bars on so nothing bigger than a human arm can get in]. Nightmare! I'm tired, it's scared, there are many places for it to hide. Eventually with the help of the laundry bowl and a towel we usher it out of the window. I hope it didn't die of shock - they tend to do that!

Now, the students went clubbing after we left. I will tell you about the nightclub when I summon up the effort to go. They got well refreshed and then decided to walk home along the road. This is the closest you can get to wanting to commit suicide here. 'We had no torch, the lights of the cars blinded us but didn't light the way...' Happy times. Anyway, Simon got back drunk and probably scared to find a creature in his room. Happily he had the presence of mind to film it! It was a type of snake about 2 feet long, silver and blind (we later discover). It can be seen in the video writhing about trying to make its way across the smooth concrete floor and being obstructed by the wardrobe door. Obviously the best way for Simon to remove it was to use his flip flop to flick it along the ground and out through the door...

I'll stick with the birds, thanks!!!