Friday, 17 August 2012

The one with the taxis...

This morning we were up early doors to do some chores before we headed out to the hospital.

First off we wanted to visit the motel that my Dad stayed in over 40 years ago (aptly named Andrew's Motel) so we headed to the taxi rank (cf petrol station forecourt) to find a car. The first man over says that a trip to the motel, stop for 5 mins and return to the Immigration Office (we missed Winnie overnight) would be 200,000 Kwacha (c.£26). I told him that this was unacceptable and he protested that the motel was a very long way away. The day before I'd been told it was 8km away and we finally settled on 70,000.

We went through the centre of town, past the President's Palace (he has a high wall and razor wire, and one of those silly mobile phone masts disguised as a palm tree), the Chinese Embassy, the Japanese Embassy, the Intercontinental, the Immigration Office. Then on past the 60s concrete blocks, over the railway, past the market. And then the buildings got sparser but on we went. After a while I was beginning to wonder if we hadn't been kidnapped, which would have been inconvenient given that it was now 9.30am and we had lots to do! However, a few minutes later we arrived - hopped out, took some photos then headed back to Winnie.

Our friends had managed to negotiate 90 day visas, rather than 10 days and we rather hoped to do the same. Winnie directed us to Catherine (the lady in the white shirt) who had the stamp. In the direction of the hand gesture were 4 ladies in white shirts. Catherine, it turns out, is desk 5. She agreed to give us 60 days and I could feel Geoff summoning up the courage to complain that she had given the others 90 days only yesterday - but I stopped him - a bird in the hand and all that!

And now for a taxi to the shopping centre - surely there are some near the Intercontinental. There we go a handful of blue cars. First driver steps forward and asks for 50kK. I refuse and say this is way too much (we managed to drive for an hour for 70kK, which I'm starting to feel slightly bad about). He says that's the price and I say I will ask another driver - they will all be the same is the response. OK then, I will walk. You can't walk madam!! [He's right but doesn't know it for 2 reasons - 1) I haven't the first idea where I am and 2) I have no idea where I need to go!] We settle on 30 before Geoff does a reverse negotiation up to 40. In the car the driver turns to him and informs him that "Madam clearly doesn't like to pay for taxis. Doesn't she know that taxi drivers don't earn very much money?" Clearly not.

At 13 hours (or 1pm) we were waiting for the transport to the hospital. When the car arrived it had clearly been picking up stocks. Geoff and I looked at the boot of the SUV then at our bags. The driver looked at our bags and then the back of the SUV. 'How long are you staying?' '6 months?' 'Why do you have so much stuff?' Stuff in the car we head off with me and Geoff and Charles in the front and Martha hidden somewhere under the bags and boxes in the boot. For the next 6 hours only occasional shouting and some singing reminded us she was there!

We got on to discussing qualifications. "What did you study?" "Engineering" I say. He laughs and says "aaaaa aaaaa" [broadly translates as yes, yes]. There is a pause. "It's a funny thing for a girl to study, isn't it? ;)" "Yes" he says "that's why I just said aaaaaa. If the car breaks down can you fix it?" Now I laugh loudly, "No, sorry, I can't". "I have a City and Guilds in car mechanics and systems" he says. I laugh more "Then you fix the car!"

So last night I asked what we could possibly need beyond towels and internet capability on arrival. The answer, it transpires, is industrial strength bleach!! The shower and the fridge are clearly being used to culture biological weapons......... I shall thwart the terrorists tomorrow. For now my hair shall stay unwashed!

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